Depressing

http://neuro.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/20/2/244

I was looking for that strange case in the ESP enigma where there was a young man missing his prefrontal cortex and I found that. I like the quotation marks around "willed action," acknowledgment either that real will does not actually exist or that that is a name of a region that we don't really understand a bit or both. Or maybe it is just standard practice? Probably not. Most scientists are pretty intelligent.

He sounds like such a depressed and sad young individual. Exposed to a litany of tests and given hard medication and I can't help but read a DFW plot onto the whole thing.

I'm sad. Right now. Yet what makes me the most sad is that I should be happy and that there are those that have it so much worse than me.

Exponential Evolution

Interesting TED

http://www.ted.com/talks/ray_kurzweil_on_how_technology_will_transform_us.html

This idea that evolution is an exponential process and takes place on all levels of advancement perhaps defining our age. Things are happening more quickly but now the quickness is apparent to our small life spans. What evolutionists miss is that their picture is only an. Everything is speeding up and each gain is merely quicker, but is the entire history of the previous epoch condensed into a smaller period. You can see this in exponential graphs-any portion looks like the larger. Anyway, there's a lot more that can be said about this, linking post-modernism with modern science and mysticism along with my own experience, but that's briefly what I"m getting out of this TED talk, which is ostensibly only about technological progress (though this progress, for Ray Kurzweil, seems to be the paramount thing when we're talking about the expansion of human cociousness and the future "utopian" (or post-apocalyptic-take your pick) society.)

Personally, I think its much more far reaching and has to do with cosmic events that we are entering along with human development. Evolutionists and creationists are both wrong, in my opinion.


Update: His graph is amazing! "Moore's law is just an example of a larger law."


I guess what I said was that every part looks the same isn't true. Zooming in makes the exponential look flat. But that means you have exponentials of exponentials onward until infinity!

Anyword

Anyword that

leaves my mouth I regret

Every sentence I write

I wish I had not written.

For I cannot write poetry-

it all comes out wrong.

Sometimes I wonder if

all I am is a word

so that the anyword

I speak is all I am.

Not that I don't believe

in atoms cells life and things

but is all that silent racket

really anything,

a dumb pine falling by

a deaf cedar,

if it does not make a sound?

Yet as I choke back the sound

of the fall I take every day

when I wake up

and think of you

when I go to sleep

and think of you,

I still hope that anyword

can, maybe, someday far from today,

bring you back to me.

Why I haven't been posting.

Before I left on this adventure, I received this horoscope:

CANCER (June 21-Junl 22)
We ask that you not divulge the climax of the epic story to anyone-at least until you've let it sink in for awhile and felt al the reverberations it has unleashed. After that, you'll be wise to speak about it only with skilled listeners and empathetic allies who can help you harvest the meaning of all the clues that were packed inside your adventures. One further counsel: Before you reach the absolute, final denouement of the drama, there may be a tricky turn that looks a lot like the ending.

Hence, I've been somewhat afeared that I'll reveal something I ought not to the public.

Hopefully, I'll think of something vanilla yet interesting to post soon.

Peace
PMM

Parents

These last weeks have been grueling, in terms of my conversations with my parents. The highlights being "you sound insane" "I don't feel proud of you anymore" "you have no guiding principle," and on and on and on.

In response to the last accusation, I showed them my couch surfing profile (my user name is Pineapple Mushroom Man) where they had just asked, the night before when I created it, what my guiding principle is...

Here's the heading of my page:

Max Hollenbeck

Current Mission: "Be who I am. Harder than it sounds."


Well, my dad just sent me this e-mail.

Hi,
Your mission to be who you are is exactly right.
It made me look up this concept. Check it out:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_definition_of_integrity


I'm too tired to ponder it. Nothing is packed in my bag currently and blast off is T-5 hours 33 minutes.

So I guess I'll get to that.

Love,
The Pineapple Mushroom Man

Headin' out

I leave tomorrow, en route to New York City with a 61 year old New York woman I've never met before with a backpack, a computer, a pair of new shoes with a mission: figure shit out. Suppose I'm not silly enough to really believe that all that takes is a month on the road. Though who knows? Maybe. I need to pack, but I'll briefly relay how all of this transpired....actually, I'll do that later tonight. Or tommorow. I'll have a lot of down time in the car, that I'm taking, even though I'll be driving a lot. I was going to get a ride to Michigan with a short bus full of dead heads but found a craigslist ride from a 61 year old named Pamela. The latter was a more strait shot. And certainly her ride is a lot less likely to end in disaster. But yes. I'll fill it all in more later.

But yes. Hello new blog. I hope someone reads you someday. Hello, you who are reading the first blog by the Pineapple Mushroom Man. Hope you're enjoying yourself. Make sure you're comfortable. There's nothing worse than reading a blog in an uncomfortable position. So yes; ease back that easy chair laptop user, sit back in your chair PC fellow, and remember: RELAX. You'll live longer and enjoy the ride a helluva lot more. And also, don't forget my name folks! Someday it'll be in lights.

You heard it hear first.

Love,
Pineapple Mushroom Man